This is Cheryl Arkison, aka the Backseat Gourmet. She's got a full-time job, a couple of blogs and two young kids. She's also got a lot of good ideas about handling fussy eaters. When I posted a Reader's Question about feeding fussy eaters, Cheryl didn't just post an idea in the comments section, she posted an excellent short article.
Now, Marta made an excellent point about not forcing kids to eat, and Teresa helped her fussy eater develop an adventuresome palate by offering choices — between healthy options, mind you. But, a few of you remain stumped and even confess to being picky about food yourself. Please, if you're over 21 you're "discerning".
Anyway, I liked Cheryl's thoughtful and detailed response so much, I asked her permission to repost it here. She graciously agreed and provided a photo along with this short bio:
I am a thirty something mom to two girls, ages 3 and 1. While I currently have a desk job working on climate change related issues, once upon a time I worked in professional kitchens and restaurants. Rather than go to cooking school I chose grad school - and look where I ended up! Still wishing I was more directly involved with food again. I take out those tendencies on my children and husband! I don't think they're complaining.
Well, Cheryl, here's your chance to be more directly involved with food again. For those who didn't read the comments section, here are some solutions from a mother of two.
Getting Kids to Eat
Courtesy of Cheryl Arkison
As my kids get older I am starting to believe that fussy eaters are partially made, not born. There is an element of kid personality in there - stubborn, adventurous, fearful, curious - but there is also what we, as parents do. I believe that if we make an issue out of things, it becomes an issue. So if your kid won't eat vegetables and we are constantly harangueing them to eat their peas, then they will grow up fighting you on them.
We feed our kids what we eat for dinner - same spices, same seasonings, same ingredients. We put a little of everything on their plate. After that they can choose to eat it or not. If the 3-year-old is refusing her dinner and insisting on cookies then she doesn't get cookies. But if she ate at least some of what we gave her, and tried everything at least once then she gets some fruit and a cookie (if we have them in the house). She doesn't go to bed hungry. But if she won't eat her dinner and just wants a cookie? Sorry kid, you're S.O.L. No negotiation, just a simple fact that you have to eat dinner before treats.
In terms of on-the-ground tips?
- Sit down together so they see everyone eating the same thing (positive peer pressure). They copy what we do all the time, so model your own good eating.
- Utensils. Change it up sometimes or let them eat with their hands. Novelty can go a long way (for example, The Monster asked to go out for sushi the other day, then refused to eat. We got her the kiddie chopsticks and suddenly she was a a sashimi fiend).
- Get them in the kitchen. It's no guarantee, but having them help, even as a toddler, gives them ownership and pride in what's on their plate.
- Get them in the field. Have them touch the food in the ground, as it comes out of the ground. Those memories will trigger lots of enjoyment and association at the dinner table.
- Don't lie. I'm not a fan of hiding vegetables in food or making up fun names for conventional things. It is what it is and they will like it or not. Of course, family nicknames for things don't count (we call filled pasta Ghosts, for example)
- Relax. Over the course a week most kids eat a balanced diet (if you offer them one). So one day is not great on the veggie or milk front, tomorrow they'll eat a bowl of yoghurt and it will be fine.
- Offer, offer, offer. If you only give your kids chicken strips and cheese then that's what they'll eat, so don't complain about it. If you want them to eat something besides that then prepare yourself for a few weeks of tantrums and simply take that stuff out of the house. Then just keep presenting what you want them to eat, no pressure, and hope for the best.
Many thanks to Cheryl for sharing her hard-earned, first-hand experiences. Anyone try these approaches? How did they work? If you've got other tricks, we'd love to hear them.
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9 comments:
These totally work for us. Choices and time in the kitchen seem to be the key elements in getting our 3.75-year-old to try just about anything.She loves to eat things she's had a hand in cooking. (That's how I first got her to try Indian food)
The garden and heading out to the local farms REALLY helps too. She'll try just about anything is she can pick it herself.
Fun post!
I think Cheryl has provided a very helpful array of tips, and while not all of them will work for every child, something there should work for the majority of kids.
I've just returned from a trip abroad w/ my kids, and we thought we were doing the fun thing by ordering our kids special "kids meals" on Air France. Guess what arrived for them? Chicken nuggets. My kids ending up eating my airplane meal instead.
Aw, what a beautiful picture and such a terrific post. Great information all around ... and from now on I will refer to myself as "discerning"!
Yeah! I finally have a face to go with Cheryl A's name! Fantastic. Great advice. Great blog post.
Robin, you're right, we all need to exploit the natural curiosity of children.
Cheryl, it's a sad day when your airplane meal is still preferable to chicken nuggets. But of course your kids are spoiled by mom's cooking.
Diva, I still consider myself somewhat discerning, but I have to follow my own rule and at least try something once before I declare a dislike.
Dana, I guess that tiny photo of me on my site didn't do me justice. I think my girls are far better looking!
Thanks Charmian!
Great tips here! I think keeping a relaxed attitude is paramount as well, and often over-looked. If you stress about a certain food, I'm sure the kids will pick that up and associate broccoli with mommy freaking out!
I love this reader's questions segment!
Thanks again to Cheryl A for the great advice -- and for responding to the comments on this post. Looking back on things, I realize I probably am so into food because my mother blatantly "exploited" my natural curiosity. She also encouraged it.
Wonderful conversation to listen in on. Thanks folks!
Great article and some very good points! I think the whole eating thing can be one of the most challenging aspects of being a parent. Our almost 5 year old used to eat everything under the sun until he was about 2 and a half. Suddenly, no veggies are admired or desired and god forbid if we mix the food and items are touching! Still, we persevere and continually introduce new foods, try not to get uptight about things, don't cater to his wants (ie hot dogs, pizza and mac and cheese) and definately require the main meal to be eaten before dessert (if there is any and if there is, it's usually fruit!) Ah, the joys of having a kid that has a gag reflex that you could almost be proud of and the stubborness of his mother. SO my point? As we say in preschool, some times you get what you get and you don't fret! I'm hoping he'll grow out of this phase but maybe he won't. Considering his father is not a fan of most vegetables and barely tolerates them, I'm not holding my breath! :-)
Cari, I love the phrase "you get what you get and don't fret." Wonderful philosophy!!
I find it funny how culinary likes and dislikes change. I know someone who wouldn't eat anything unless it was drowned in ketchup. He grew up to be a very adventuresome eater and good home cook. He doesn't even like ketchup today.
Just keep doing what you're doing and hope your 5yo models his eating behaviours on you and not your veggie-phobic husband.
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